How counselling can help Asperger’s
by Roger Day UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Certified Play Therapist
I love watching old episodes of Doc Martin, the seaside doctor (played by Martin Clune) who has the social skills of a stick of rock. I also enjoy the American hospital series House. The genius Dr Gregory House, played by British actor Hugh Laurie, gets into trouble for his unconventional diagnoses and his peculiar lateral thinking.
There’s something fascinating about people who struggle to fit in with society. Both Doc Martin and Dr House display elements of something Hans Asperger identified in 1944 and what has come to be known as Asperger’s Syndrome, a diagnosis on the autistic spectrum.
You don’t have to be a doctor to have Asperger’s. Nor do you need a diagnosis. In any case, a senior colleague of mine, Claude Steiner, has said: ‘All diagnosis is a form of alienation.’
As a counsellor, psychotherapist and play therapist I have worked with many very intelligent people (aged 8 to 64) who have elements of Asperger’s, whether diagnosed or not.
Many show characteristics of high intelligence with little common sense. They are often the very best at school, college or their job, yet they find it difficult to relate to their colleagues. Most (but not all) are men or boys. They usually have a more extreme version of what almost all males suffer from – the inability to know what’s going on around them when they are concentrating on a film, a computer game or a football match!
Many of the people who come to see me have difficulty with eye contact. They struggle with metaphors, show little empathy for others, hate physical contact and often have a focused interest in one particular subject. They are sometimes isolated by society as freaks, eccentrics or anoraks.
Yet, people with Asperger’s have emotions, too. They can feel hurt, marginalised, victimised and very angry.
Counselling can help people to deal with such negative feelings that, left unchecked, can lead to depression, self-harming behaviours and even suicide.
Counselling can also give them strategies to cope better in society. There is nothing worse for a boy at school than being bullied because he can’t make eye contact with others or because he prefers studying reference books to doing sport. Boys aged about 11 or 12 commonly need therapy as they discover that the behaviour tolerated in the warm embrace of primary school is not acceptable in the harsh reality of senior school.
Work-related stress is very high among adults who have characteristics of Asperger’s.
Most people have forgotten Albert Einstein’s Asperger-type behaviour. They just remember him as one of the greatest geniuses of the 20th century. Although there is no cure for Asperger’s, counselling can enable both adults and children to reach their full potential.
Dealing with emotions and finding strategies to become more accepted could be just what the person needs. And, who knows, another Einstein may be ready to emerge!
I am available to see people of all ages for counselling, psychotherapy or play therapy. Please email me: brookcreativetherapy@gmail.com or telephone 01788 541 937 or 07870 737 652. Check out my website: