Top Ten Tips for Survivors

Whether the abuse was physical, emotional or sexual – or the result of neglect – here are some ways to help yourself:

1. Be positive See yourself as a survivor, not a victim. If there is a mountain ahead to climb, visualise being the conqueror at the end of the upward journey.

2. Face the truth Abuse that is not faced up to will fester like an open wound. Bring to mind what you can about the past. Let your healthy, natural feelings – and tears – flow.

3. Write things down Keep a feelings or thoughts diary. If you decide to write down the actual events, keep your private diary in a secure place. Plan one day to celebrate moving on by burning it or tearing it up.

4. Express yourself Find your own creative ways to express how you feel. It may be through art, poetry, music or dance. Anger can be channelled positively in the gym, through running or squash or by a contact sport such as rugby, judo or kickboxing.

5. Read about others If you can bear it, read other survivors' stories. Look for the special section in most bookshops or the Tragic Life Stories section in Amazon. It can help to know you were not the only one who was deeply affected.

6. Be kind to you Remind yourself regularly that, if you were the child, you were not responsible for what happened. Even if you were badly behaved or flirty, it was the fault of the other person. A survivor regularly rejects feelings of guilt.

7. Take care Taking care of yourself includes avoiding situations at work, leisure or home where you end up being intimidated, bullied or even abused. Note any self-harming behaviours and do something to change them. You deserve success in life.

8. Know your needs As a survivor you can learn to acknowledge your own needs even when you are tempted to ignore them. Make sure you have enough rest and recreation, you eat sensibly and exercise regularly. Your needs are just as important as those of other people.

9. Find a friend Many survivors find it useful to have at least one close friend to share with. Choose someone who will be there for you when the going gets tough and who will respect the need for confidentiality.

10. Consider therapy Talking to a counsellor or therapist can help you bring closure and move forward. If you include nonverbal, creative elements in the therapy you can deal with sensitive issues without talking about every detail.

Roger Day UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Certified Play Therapist

Christine Day Diploma in Counselling, European Adult Teaching Certificate

If you would like to enquire about therapy contact us on 01788 541 937 or via email: brookcreativetherapy@gmail.com

If you are a counsellor or therapist interested in attending a training course in working with survivors CLICK HERE.

www.brookcreativetherapy.com